Isaiah 43:2 "When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flame will not consume you.”
There
are many lessons that I have learned since our kitchen caught fire in the middle of the night on May 31st, 2018, an hour after we finally put our 5 week old baby boy to sleep in his crib. I choose to share 4
of them on social media, because so many of you walked that road with us either
through prayer, material/financial giving, or emotional support. I want you to know
what the Lord has taught me, and hope readers will be blessed though them.
Lesson 1-“Do
not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where
thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven. For
where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21. The most apparent lesson that
we tried to remind ourselves of from midnight on May 31st, was this
scripture. Things are things. They are temporary. Yes, they can provide some enjoyment
and comfort; yes we need some of them to get through each day; but in the end,
they will pass away. If my hope is in the
items lost, I will forever be in despair and want. “My hope is built on nothing
less, than Jesus blood and righteousness.”
Lesson 2-‘We were
together, I don’t remember the rest.”-Walt Witman. This was a quote next to the bed at one of our friend’s houses
that we resided in while they were on vacation. Every night (or every nap time
I forced myself to rest instead of deal with insurance claims), I read this sign.
Most of the time I read it with frustration thinking, ‘but I do remember the rest,
I do remember all we have lost and the pain, frustration, fear, and inconvenience.’
However, occasionally the words seeped in to my heart and I was able to embrace
the fact that yes, we are moving all over the place and have lost much, but my
baby boy and husband are here with me. We are together. I will forget the rest.
Lesson 3- Matthew
6:25-33 summed up “Therefore do not be anxious…your heavenly father knows what
you need.”
To even begin to list all of the
ways the Lord provided for us through this time is impossible. Though I hope to
have time throughout the rest of my life to list them for myself as I praise God
for each one. One phone call led to everything our sweet boy could need from 5 weeks
old until 9 months. One FB post led to many many financial gifts to help us until
insurance paid us back, homes to stay in until we could move home, meals to feed
us until I had the ability to focus on cooking or grocery shopping. I was blown
away by the amount of love we have in our lives. It was the kind of thing where
you burst out in tears because you are overwhelmed by the provision from the Lord,
through the people He has put in your life. We are blessed beyond measure and will never be able to thank
everyone appropriately. Our thanks will be displayed as God allows us to be His
hands and feet (and bank account) for others in their time of need.
Lesson 4- Let
me grieve.
I believe the Lord provided this fire
and all that comes with it, to help me learn that even after many devastating life
situations, I am still learning how to grieve loss. My tendency is to quickly move
from shock to acceptance. (Honestly based on a lot of people’s well -meaning encouragement,
this is their tendency too.) What I
know better now, is that God created us with emotions, and that means all of
them. Phrases that were meant to be helpful, like, “at least you are all alive,”
“at least it wasn’t the whole house,” “at least you get a new kitchen out of the
deal,” etc…these comments actually brought a sadness and anger with them. Believe
me, I know the intention. I believe the intention was encouragement. I also believe
that they are all true in and of themselves. I trust that deep in my spirit and
mind, God used these as a reminder to give praise that it wasn’t worse and that
He is better than all of those things. However, I only spoke these words to a
few people; it’s okay for me to grieve.
It’s okay for me to have all of the feelings. It’s okay for me to be sad that the
vision I had of those first few months with my baby were not spent in the place
I had ‘nested’ and prepared for him. It’s okay to be frustrated that instead of
getting to ‘sleep when the baby sleeps,’ I had to return 5 phone calls to insurance/contractors.
It’s okay to be angry at how the fire started in the first place. It’s okay to
be overwhelmed by the amount of decisions that need to be made, when all I want
to do is snuggle my new baby and enjoy time with my husband. “There is a time to
weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and time to dance. (Ecclesiastes 3:4).”
Let me grieve. If allowed, I will move from shock to acceptance in an appropriate
and lasting way where I won’t be harboring resentment. You, (those in my life)
might have to watch me be in denial, anger, or depression. You might have to give
me a hug and just sit there with me saying ‘I’m sorry this has happened’ and nothing
else. Or literally ‘weep with those who weep.’ But then, someday, you will hopefully
get to sit there with me (as many are) when acceptance turns into lessons 1, 2,
and 3. You will get to have an up close seat to watch God change a heart from worry
and sadness to joy and contentment. You might even get to know God a little more
through walking through the stages with me.
As Isaiah
said, we will walk through the fire but not be burned. Why? Because Jesus will
be with us. God will protect and provide in His way, in His time. Thank you for
walking this journey with us, even if just through thought and prayer.
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